


Free Bush (Day 5)

by famgrill_sinner



Series: Candlenights TAZ [5]
Category: TAZ - Fandom, The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gotta bring back all the old characters, Leon oh my god, M/M, Merle and his plants, Other, STOP THIS, Smh these boys, like one penis joke, mentioned davenport/merle - Freeform, ooc??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-09 09:34:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12885054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/famgrill_sinner/pseuds/famgrill_sinner
Summary: Part five of Candlenights oneshots: buying the tree-They needed a candlenights bush and soon. Magnus sent Taako and Merle out to grab one to run into an old friend(?)(Part five of Candlenights but can be read by itself)





	Free Bush (Day 5)

  1. Buying the tree



 

Magnus decided to take the day off. Well not by his choice. His body, running on a total of four hours of sleep in the past week which lead to it refusing to do anything at this point until he got some real rest. He had given Taako and Merle what he called ‘seriously the best part and you have to do it.’

Which forced the two to get out of the warm moon base and onto the cold Earth. Merle insisted his normal attire of a hawaiian shirt, shorts, socks and sandals was enough but Taako forced him to at least take a coat and a hat, some struggling came with getting him to wear boots. While Taako on the other hand was all dress up and ready to go out. A matching outfit that consisted of all different shades of blue with a red scarf.

“Where do we have to go?” Merle groaned pulling the hat over the bun that rested atop of his head. Taako shrugged and handing him the same paper that Magnus had given him. It said they needed to go to the shopping area and get the candlenights bush, the biggest one available.

“Can’t we just grow one?” The dwarf groaned watching Taako unwrap his scarf to wrap it again. He shrugged once more. It seemed like the best option for them but Magnus would say otherwise. Then again, he was running a high fever and his eyes refused to stay open for more than a moment so he couldn’t tell.

“We’ll look and if they don’t have any good ones then sure.” Taako said feeling the pod land with a soft crunch. Taako opened it and hopped out. There was some snow on the ground, enough that you’d be stepping in it. They had landed right on the outskirts of Goldcliff. It made the most sense to go there, due to the vast wealth from everyone. Taako gave Merle a hand and set him into the snow, having it engulf his boots.

The two made their way into the town and towards the shopping district, a few murmurs of recognition came from townsfolk. They were far to used to it at this point. It was hard not to be known as the saviours of the universe, at least Taakos show is more popular than ever due towards the fanfare they always faced.

The street was lined with buildings which lead into shops, and in front of those, there were booths set up selling smaller stuff. At the end of the street there was a clearing filled with Candlenight bushes. Merle had some difficulty getting over to it due to his size while Taako easily walked through the snow. Merle would rather die than ask to be carried. The bushes varied in sizes, some no bigger than a house plant while others were the size of a small pinetree. But in the very back was the biggest candlenights bush there. It would be big enough to fit in the main room, the real problem would be getting it through the door.

“Hey there cutie.” Merle asked with a wink running his dwarven hand up the side of it.

“You have a relationship you old pervert.” Taako groaned not wanting to see another plant orgasm.

“Trust me Taako. Davenport knows.” Merle winked giving a thumbs up with his wooden arm. Taako tried not to puke at what he was saying.

“I’m trying to see how good it is. But if this hot pile of leaves would help me that’d be greatly appreciated.” Merle continued to rub the trunk of the bush with a wink.

“Ah that is a good bush. You have excellent taste sir.” A familiar voice said behind them. Taako turned around and there was none other than Leon. He backed away in fear from the blond elf. From his time working the gashapon at the base, Taako lead to nothing good.

“No you don’t. Were customers and I know the man upstairs. You’re gonna help us.” Taako said grabbing the collar of his robe and pulling him back. “Now watch Merle.”

Leon did what he was told, scared to loose his side job, but even more terrified of what Merle was doing to the poor bush. The old man kept whispering dirty plant related things to it while Taako watched Leons face with a smile. Him turning the lever wrong seemed like nothing compared to what Merle was doing.

“How much is this bush? We need it for the base.” Taako asked as Merle proceeded to lick the bush and moan.

“Oh God's just take it. I don’t care if I get fired you just have to leave. Take that  _ thing _ with you.” He pointed at the bush then the short man who had his arms wrapped around it. “Look I can even send it there if you leave and  _ never come back. _ ”

“You’re the best Leon. Come on Merle this is the one.” Taako said pulling the two apart and heaving Merle over his shoulder. Merle looked back at the bush one last time, giving it the universal motion of ‘call me’ with a wink as Leon prepared to cast the spell. 

“Merle my man, you got got some real unorthodox ways of getting what you want.” Taako said setting him down once they left the area of bushes. The dwarf took it as a complement as they made their way towards their pod. They had gotten the bush. That was all that mattered. Magnus wouldn’t ask questions unless he really wanted to know what happened with Leon. Which nobody did. 

When Magnus did wake up and saw the bush, he was rather impressed of what he assumed to be haggling. The only issue that he found on it was a thick root sticking out from the bottom. Merle called it ‘my work’ which Magnus didn’t understand but Taako did. He was talking about a plant boner. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey my man Leon came back only to cry in fear from the plant boner and Taako


End file.
